Meet & Connect · Build Trust
Common Ground, No Cheating
Uncover three things the group shares, with the obvious answers taken off the table.
Time8–12 minutes
Group size3+ people
FormatSmall groups, Table groups
MaterialsNone
What this accomplishes
Small groups find unexpected points of connection while avoiding superficial answers based on their shared workplace, location, or obvious role.
- Discover unexpected similarities
- Practice curious conversation
Before you begin
Materials
- None
Preparation
- Choose two or three obvious answers to ban
What to say
“Find three things everyone in your group has in common. You may not use the obvious facts that brought you into this room.”
How to run it
- 1
Form groups of three to five.
- 2
Name the banned answers—for example employer, city, job field, or attendance at this event.
- 3
Give groups six minutes to find three genuine commonalities.
- 4
Ask each group to share only its most unexpected answer.
Prompts to use
What routine do you all protect?
What harmless opinion do you share?
What skill did you learn outside formal training?
What is something all of you would happily skip?
Adapt it to the room
Small group
Work as one group and raise the goal to five commonalities.
Large group
Keep sharing within tables and collect only one surprising example from the room.
Virtual
Use breakout groups of four and post the banned answers in the broadcast message.
Accessibility & inclusion
- Allow people to pass on any line of inquiry.
- Keep prompts broad and non-biographical.
- Do not reward groups for finding more personal commonalities.
Debrief, if useful
Which connection would you not have guessed?
What question helped your group move past obvious answers?
Why it works—and what can go wrong
Why it works
The constraint prevents easy answers and encourages curiosity, but the group chooses the depth and content of the conversation.
Watch out for
- Do not let the activity become a hunt for trauma or marginalization.
- Avoid competitive scoring based on uniqueness.